The Horny Toad

3/27/2012 1:36:42 AM

I am sitting here naked looking at your pics. with a big massive hard on stroking the
head of my dick wishing you would have met me like u said u would, so I can fuck you .
I am gonna cum …..

Yeah, I kind of blew him off too. (That was over a month ago.)  I knew all he wanted was a booty call so I stopped messaging him.  I’m thinking that was the right decision now.

The DUMBASS

My sister, Fallen Angel, sent me this & asked me to post it here for all of you to enjoy.  So, enjoy.  :)
DUMBASS
3/18/2012 2:20:22 AM
hey how u doing
Fallen Angel
3/18/2012 2:33:48 AM
I’m good. What about you?
DUMBASS
3/18/2012 2:37:43 AM
im not good
Fallen Angel
3/18/2012 2:45:18 AM
Well why not?
DUMBASS
3/18/2012 2:47:59 AM
these women on pof they dont want a guy like me
Fallen Angel
3/18/2012 2:58:27 AM
Lol why? Are you a serial killer?
DUMBASS
3/18/2012 3:04:40 AM
hell no im not no serial killer
Fallen Angel
3/18/2012 3:05:57 AM
Maybe it’s your attitude
DUMBASS
3/18/2012 3:09:17 AM
really well no body knows what im going through
DUMBASS
3/18/2012 10:44:08 PM
maybe u r right

The Disgusting

Name: hypersensationalism

Website: http://hypersensationalism.wordpress.com

Submission: When I had a profile up, I’d said that I was very animal orientated, worked with horses etc. So I’m chatting to this guy, and he’s asking me all about it, so I ask what pets he has, and he replies with ‘None, unless you count all the cockroaches, they’re even all through my bed!”

Mmmm, attractive….

-vomit-

I have to agree with Hyper here…”vomit” is the best single word to describe that man.  Who in their right mind would offer up that kind of information?  Roaches in his bed?  Gross!

Thanks Hyper for the great submission!  Be sure to check out her blog Hypersensationalism.  It’s a great read!

Three in a row

Yesterday I logged into POF and within thirty minutes I had three messages from three guys.  They were all in a row and all worthy of being posted here on WIF.  Enjoy.

1.  This one is just annoying because I get asked this question way too much.

is it true what they say about red heads?

My reply was, “Which part?”  To which he answered, “that you guys are crazy.”  I answered “yes.”

2.  My second message was from a rather handsome man, but this is all he said:

hey busty!

Well, yes I was a little flattered, but not enough to actually take him seriously.

3.  This one caught me off guard.  I had seen the guy’s profile before and thought he was cute, but he lives a little too far away for me to have wanted to message him.  Then I received the following message from him.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER MY PLACE OR I TO YOUR PLACE AND FUK ? I AM BEING BLUNT
SORRY . JUST REAL LONELY, AND IT’S BEEN A WHILE.

Besides the grammar Nazi coming out in me, I had to fight back the laughter because he sounded so sad.  I know it was probably just a twisted ploy to get laid, but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt at first.  ;)

The Booty Callers

Let’s get naked and see what happens

First of all there was no picture attached or on his profile.  That alone leads me to believe that he is probably not very attractive.  Second, his screen name had “stick” in it.  He’s definitely just looking for a booty call.  Did these men’s mothers and grandmothers not teach them manners?  Would you walk up to a woman in public and say that?

So my reply to that message would be:

Never.  Not even when pigs fly or when hell freezes over.  Learn some manners and how to respect women, and then the answer will probably still be no.

A little too much honesty

Again I’ve gotten a message commenting on my new picture.  Evidently all it takes to get messages from guys is to show a little, or a lot, of cleavage.

Just got to tell you nice cleavage pic. Hope you have some luck on here.

What I don’t understand is that if he liked it enough to message me and tell me about it, then why did he just wish me luck?  Why not ask if I’d like to talk more or chat sometime?  Weird.  Then again, men confuse me 85% of the time.

The Honest

Every now and then I’ll get a message from men who are a little too honest with me.

Hi, didnt notice the hair longer with that clevage disracting me,,,,lol

Well, at least he was honest about it.  Over the past couple of days I’ve received about forty messages and he was the only one who commented on my new photo, which happens to feature my awesome cleavage.  LOL

The Con

My sister has hit home runs lately with her POF profile.  This is the newest one that she received.

Hey there!
Yo’re a very beautiful lady, and it seems very interesting and intelligent. I really really want to meet you. Please report when you can and want, add me on FB [Name]  [Town] is a Dutch town where they are grown the most beautiful tulips in the world. If you ask me if I know you …
No, but I really want to …. Sorry … I hope no mind, I ask for add me on face..book, but there has my pictures and everything else, I imagine that will be much nicer and easier … I no have a habit of doing this, and had never used a site like this, I just register then I saw your photo … and sometime we feel something …there is not necessarily an explanation …

take care … Again and again..

Now if someone could please just translate that for us….thanks.  LOL

The Sugar Daddy

My sister sent me a text this morning that said, “I’ve found the one!”  I sent her a text back asking, “The one?”  She replied, “CALL ME!”

Evidently she had received the following message on POF.

56 wm looking for a suga baby

I immediately asked her what he looked like and she said that he didn’t have a picture on his profile.  Uh oh.  Bad sign.  She assured me that she didn’t care because he was the “one.”  She had been on a quest to find a man to be her sugar daddy for quite some time now.  Of course they aren’t easy to find.

She sent me a text about 30 minutes later saying that she was talking to him on Yahoo! Messenger and he sent her a picture.  He was wearing a tuxedo and was very good-looking.  Well, good for her.  She finally hit the jackpot, well, as long as he is for real and not a psycho.  That remains to be seen.  ;)

The Conceited

This is the message that I first received from this guy.  Attached was a very unappealing photo of himself.

Hi, my name is [Name], as long as youu have an outgoing personality, and pretty feet, lol, we’ll get along just fine. :)

I did not reply to that message.  Ten days later he sent me the next message.

Hi, my name is [Name], how long have you been on pof?

This time I actually looked at his profile out of curiosity.  I noticed in his description that he had a note at the bottom stating that he had met someone six days earlier and was going to see how it went and he wished everyone luck in their search.  That’s nice, I thought.  Good for him.  He must have found that outgoing girl with pretty feet that he had been searching for, and thankfully it wasn’t me.  However, why was he messaging me if he had already met someone?  I had to reply and find out.  Here is what I sent him.

Hi [Name], I’m Ginger.  Thanks for the message.  I noticed on your profile that you met someone.  Congratulations!  I hope it works out for you. :)

Three minutes later I received his reply.

I just broke up with her this morning.

Well isn’t that a damn shame.  I did not reply.  Then another message from him.

She had some mental problem’s, poor thing.

Hmmm, that’s too bad.  Or maybe she wasn’t the one with the mental problems, maybe, just maybe, she couldn’t deal with your mental problems.  I guess I’ll never know.

He sent me messages sporadically over the 24 hours.  I never responded.  Here they are.

So, when was the last time u dated?

Hey baby, dont forget the lsu game is comin on at 3 o clock.

Hey, are you gonna watch the saints game?

How was your day baby?

His overuse of “baby” was really starting to get on my nerves.  He doesn’t even know me and he’s pissing me off already.  Well, bless his heart and suck my toes.